


Jejune

by crmsndragonwngs



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Cannibalism, Gen, and gooey on the inside, flippant disregard for human life, oh also referring to a human baby as "it", sorta fluff, talking about eating and/or abandoning a human baby, they don't though, they're all hard on the outside
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-26
Updated: 2016-01-26
Packaged: 2018-05-16 08:58:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5822464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crmsndragonwngs/pseuds/crmsndragonwngs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Naki finds a human baby, and he and Miza must find it a suitable home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jejune

**Author's Note:**

> Jejune - adjective
> 
> juvenile; immature; childish
> 
> lacking knowledge or experience; uninformed
> 
> deficient or lacking in nutritive value
> 
> \---
> 
> Inspired by [this post](http://absinthianlyunheroic.tumblr.com/post/138007928996/absinthianlyunheroic-i-dreamed-naki-somehow-ended) by absinthianlyunheroic on tumblr!

“What the fuck is that sound?” Miza asks as she walks onto the rooftop garden. “It sounds like a shrieking fucking pig.”

“Naki found a snack.” A rough, crackling voice replies through a giggle, and Miza is surprised to see Naki sitting at one of the tables, his body hunched protectively over a small bundle of dirty rags. Takizawa is leaning over his shoulder, grinning wildly down into the bundle, and Miza steps closer to get a better look.

“It’s not a snack, idiot.” Naki growls, and Takizawa giggles again.

“Then what is it?” Miza presses.

“It’s a baby.”

“A baby?! Naki, what the fuck?!” 

“Mmmm…” Takizawa hums, reaching forward to hook a finger in the rags around the child’s face. “Soft. Pink. I’ll bet it tastes like a peach.”

“Well, good thing you’ll never know!!” Naki snaps, and stands abruptly, his shoulder catching the half-ghoul under the chin.

“No fair.” He grumbles, rubbing his jaw, then turns and stalks away.

Miza is quiet for a moment, watching as Naki coos at his charge and rocks it gently.

“What are you going to do with it?” She murmurs, taking another step toward him. He stiffens and casts her a wary glance, but she makes a face and he grudgingly lets her see.

“I dunno.” He admits. Miza wiggles a finger in the baby’s face. It watches with wide, wondering eyes, and she snorts.

“We should tell Tatara.”

“No!” Naki practically screams, snatching the baby away from her and clutching it to his chest. “You can’t tell Tatara, he’ll-- he’ll wanna-- I don’t even know, but he’ll do something bad!”

“Okay, okay, calm down before it starts making that awful noise again.” She hisses. He stares at her for a moment, rigid and...is he fucking trembling? “This is insane.” She huffs, throwing her hands in the air. “You’re insane. Get rid of it.”

“B-but, Miza!” He cries after her, but she only waves him away as she leaves.

\---

“Have you seen Naki?” Miza gruffs, kicking Takizawa’s leg. The former investigator stirs from his daze and looks up at her.

“Naki?” He seems to consider, then sighs. “Yeah. He’s still on the roof with his snack.” Then his expression brightens. “Wanna help me steal it from him?” Miza snorts.

“No. You’re not allowed to eat it, Naki’ll cry for weeks if you do.”

She finds him exactly where Takizawa said he was, and storms up to him with a reprimand on her tongue, but hesitates when she hears him talking.

“Don’t worry, little guy, I won’t let anything happen to you. I’ll keep you safe.” He murmurs, bouncing it carefully in his lap. “You’re so quiet. I bet you’re hungry. What is it human babies eat? Milk? That weird goo in those little jars? You kinda smell funny, too. I wonder if you shit your pants? What do I do with that?”

“You’d change its diaper, wouldn’t you?” Miza asks, and she can’t keep the slight smile from her face when he jumps and stares up at her, like he’d been caught stealing from the food stores.

“That’s what its mom would do.” Takizawa says behind her, and it is her turn to jump. She hadn’t realized he’d followed her. Naki hunches, defensive, and grumbles something about the half-ghoul’s mother. Takizawa shrugs. “You should get it formula, too. Won’t be any good if there’s no meat on its bones.”

“What would you do with it?” Miza asks, turning to him, and his eyes widen.

“Eat it.”

“Besides that.” But he only stares at her. “C’mon, you used to be human! What do humans do with abandoned kids?”

“Hell if I know. Leave’em on doorsteps in the rain with some sappy fucking note about how you just can’t take care of’em anymore.”

“Wait!” Naki interjects suddenly, “Don’t the Doves take kids?” Takizawa grimaces.

“Yeah, but--” He starts, but Naki is excited.

“That would be a good home, right? I mean, they would take care--”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Naki. Do we really want to add to the Dove population?”

“But we can’t just--”

“Look, just...oh, goddammit, I’ll help you find it a home, okay? It just can’t stay here. I’m honestly surprised that this freak is the only one that’s tried to eat it.” She jabs a finger at Takizawa, who only grins.

“Me too.” Naki admits, then murmurs softly to the bundle in his arms. “How does that sound, little guy? How about we find you a nice home, with a mommy and a daddy and a grandpa and a puppy and a--”

“Ugh, c’mon, you fucking moron.” Miza groans, grabbing his arm and pulling him along behind her. 

“If he asks where you are, I’ll tell Tatara-san that you’re going on a date!” Takizawa calls after them, then giggles wildly at Miza’s snarled “Fuck you.”

\---

It’s midday, and Miza is nervous. She’s not used to strolling around the city in broad daylight, and the sheer fact that her companion has not worn a mask once during any of their operations, and was even interred at the humans’ ghoul prison once, is more than enough to set her on edge. 

“Can’t we just do what Takizawa said? Let’s just leave it somewhere.” She says, wringing her hands anxiously.

“No. This little guy deserves a good home.” Naki snaps back. Miza sighs.

“Then let’s hurry up, okay. But if we run into Doves, we’re ditching it.”

“Why don’t we just give it to them?”

“Did you forget the part where Doves will train it to kill us?” But Naki doesn’t say anything. Miza sighs again. “Okay, Naki. Where should we go?”

They walk in relative silence (the baby is awake and babbling incessantly) for a long time, then Naki looks at her and there are tears in his eyes. 

“I dunno! Can we just go door to door?” 

Miza opens her mouth, sarcasm sitting on the tip of her tongue, but he looks so wretched and she can’t bring herself to be mean.

“Sure, we can do that.”

They start at an apartment building, knocking on doors and getting mixed reactions to their admittedly strange question. One woman scoffs, tells them how irresponsible they are for not wanted to take care of their child. A young man shrieks something about not being the father and slams the door in their faces. Another woman agrees to take it, but when she opens the door to let them in Naki backs away immediately.

“No way, you’ve got like 400 cats and 20 kids, no way you can give this little guy the home he deserves!” And even though Miza punches his shoulder and tells him they’ve gotta get rid of it anyway, the smell reminds her of her childhood and she grimaces. 

The first building exhausted, they move on to the next. And then the next. And then the next. By nightfall they are both exhausted, the baby is crying (and so is Naki), and Miza thinks she may just have to kill it after all. But her companion is blubbering pitifully, and looking at her like he is a lost puppy, and she wishes he wasn’t right.

They’ve gotta make sure it gets a good home.

She heaves a long, suffering sigh, and rests her hand on Naki’s shoulder.

“C’mon. Let’s go to the CCG.” And she wishes he wouldn’t look at her like that.

**Author's Note:**

> Because I assume that most ghouls have had shitty upbringings, and I think Naki would want the baby to get better than what he'd gotten. Miza too, by the end of it all. And since Naki is really a deeply emotional, caring character, I feel that this isn't too OOC of him.
> 
> Also, I can't fucking believe there is not a ship tag for Naki/Miza. 
> 
> There's also a tiny hint of Nakizawa, if you squint ;P


End file.
